On social running

Let's take a step back in time for a moment and think about Tessa as a beginning runner back in NYC.  There was the day I finally acknowledged Lucy's alternate personality (Lucifer) and decided the dog park was no longer an option.  Then the day we took those first few running steps out the door.  There's the hilarious episode of me dragging Lucy down the sidewalk.  And of course, the day I finally made it all the way around the cemetery.

*Side note: When I started this blog a year and a half ago, the purpose was to tell the story of how Lucy and I started running, which is why those posts refer to past events, etc.  Read the chronological story from the beginning if you're interested and have a spare day or two.

Back when all those events occurred, I had absolutely NO intention of running with others.  My running was about tiring Lucy out in as efficient a way as possible with the added benefit of me getting healthier.  It was something I wanted as few people to see me doing as possible.  I ducked my head as cars passed by.  I was the typical New Yorker who didn't make eye contact if anyone passed me on the sidewalk, dragging my dog behind me.

But then I moved to Seattle.  And I convinced myself to run my first half marathon.  I saw people with running friends (many of them purple-shirted) and, after a year and a half of solo+dog running, I felt a twinge of desire for my own running friends.  It was another 6 months before the TNT flyer came in the mail and I decided to go to the info meeting, where I was immediately convinced to fork over my registration fee and sign on the dotted line.

I was terrified to go to the first team practice.  It had been just Lucy and me for so long, and we had our pace and our routes and our rhythm.  And now, I had to leave Lucy behind and go run with people.  As a person who hadn't quite broken out of her shell completely yet and grown into her Seattle shyness-free skin, this was unbelievably intimidating.

I quickly learned, though, that running with others makes running better.  Especially when you have to run really far.  Running with friends is fun, carefree, and easier.  I began looking forward to our long Saturday runs and Tuesday workouts.

But I still relished my solo runs with Lucy.  Running was my internal therapy.  As I ran, I stomped out all the frustration, pounded the worries into the pavement, and let the stress slide down my spine and onto the sidewalk behind me.  I thought I had to be alone with music blaring in my earbuds for all this to happen.

After that first TNT season, I missed my running friends but was happy to get back to just me and Lucy running.  I was happy to use running as my selfish time to think about me and only me (and Lucy, who is a part of me).  But after a while, I started getting that twinge again.  The desire to run with people.

By the time I signed up for my second TNT season, Seattle had done it's job of splitting my shyness shell wide open so that I could step out into the world unencumbered for the first time.  Now I was really starting to like being a social runner.  I had Saturday and Tuesday practices, but I also began scheduling runs with my new-found running friends outside of these practices. On a random Wednesday, Thursday, or Sunday, I'd meet up with others to run (this was, in fact, the beginning of Erica and I's running partnership).

In that second season, and in the third, as I trained for marathons 2 and 3, I grew to love social running, but still wanted at least one day a week with just Lucy and me.  One day to collect my thoughts and run alone.  I was sad if I overbooked my social exercise schedule and didn't get some just-me-and-Lucy time in.

Even just this past fall, as I was training for Goofy in TNT season #4, I still enjoyed a solo run once a week or so.  But then Lucy began fully embracing her middle age, and her energy levels began showing it.  As my speed was increasing, her desire to get out and run was diminishing.  Until finally I realized that I needed to delegate runs with Lucy to slow, short recovery days or simply no runs at all.

Then suddenly, as Lucy started fading from my running life, my desire to run with other people increased tremendously.  And now, here I am at the point where Lucy gets her 30 minutes of walking exercise every morning and leaves me lonesome for my post-work runs.  While this is a huge and bittersweet turning point in life with Lucy (that I'm simply not going to expound upon in this post), it has opened up my schedule to run with others.

On a positive note, to distract from this minor Lucy sadness,
we sniffed out some signs of spring on our walk this morning!

I'm am embracing becoming a social runner.  I realized today that I've gotten to the point that I am beginning to dread solo runs.  Maybe it's because I'm pretty happy in life right now, and I don't have a lot of angst, frustration, anxiety, or stress to work out on my own therapeutic solo runs.  Or maybe it's because I've realized that running with friends serves just the same purpose and in a much more positive-feeling way.

Regardless of the reasons, I have transformed into a whole-heartedly social runner.  So far this week, I ran with Team on Saturday, a recovery run with Lucy on Sunday (the first run with her in weeks and only because Erica decided she wanted to run longer than my recovery length), another team run Tuesday, a much needed gossip-filled run with Erica on Wednesday, and tonight I ran with Ironman/Coach Jason, Ironman/Coach Joe, and another teammate Alana.  In fact, tonight I found myself with multiple options of groups of friends to run with (the group I ran with, the boys from Team, or my teacher running clubbers), which amazes me slightly.  How have I become so spoiled with running friends when just 4 years ago I was pining away for simply one?  The thought that I'm going to need to run solo on Saturday morning before heading out to coach my first elementary school track meet has me a little sad.  60 minutes on my own?  It just doesn't seem right anymore.

But I'll make it through those measly 60 minutes, and then I'll get up early Sunday morning to meet up with a multitude of runner friends and run the St. Patty's Day Dash.  Can't wait to run with you all.

Hills and LucYoga

My facebook news feed has been filled with complaints about Daylight Savings today.  I find this silly.  Don't you know what Daylight Savings means?  Sunlight!  Saved until the end of the day!  One more wonderful hour of daylight after work!  Boo hoo, you lost an hour of sleep.  I call that sacrifice for the greater good.  Sacrifice for sunshine.

Time taken: 6:15.  It would have totally been getting dark already at this time
yesterday.

And look!  45 minutes later (7:00!), dusk has just begun.

Hallelujah, the dark days are done!  Also, if we remember from a few weeks ago while I was stuck in the February doldrums, today also signifies Chuck Norris's International Day of Awesomeness.  What did you do to prove your awesomeness today?  I did a few things, which I will expound upon herewith, but first I want to talk about yesterday's impromptu day of awesomeness as well.

Yesterday's practice with Team was at Lake Youngs in Renton.  I believe I've talked about Lake Youngs here before, but for those who don't know: Lake Youngs is not actually a lake.  It is a reservoir completely surrounded by trees and a chain link fence.  Along the outside of the chain link fence is a 9 mile loop trail around the entire reservoir.  While on the trail, there is exactly one spot where you can see the "lake" for just a second as you go running by.  If you're going the right direction and know where to look.

Lake Youngs is also very hilly.  There are, in fact, very few flat parts.  It goes up and down, sometimes in rolling hills, and sometimes in big climbs.  Lake Youngs in not an easy course.

Nonetheless, despite the deceiving name and numerous hills, this is one of my favorite runs.  It feels like a real trail tucked back in the woods.  There's nature and stuff.  I've seen deer here before.  And I've heard rumors that a TNT coach once even stumbled upon a bear that luckily was on the other side of the chain link fence.  And, I think I'm finally beginning to admit to myself that I actually like hills.  They make the run interesting.  They make you work hard, which makes you feel better at the end.  And on yesterday's run, I felt great.

Not to mention, it was an absolutely beautiful sunshiny day.  [I realize I should have a photo here of said beautiful day.  Blogger fail.]

This TNT season is interesting for me.  My past 3 seasons, I've had Erica to run with.  We've become steadfast running partners, and in the past couple years I'd say that about 95% of my long runs have been with Erica.  But this season, as I may have mentioned once or twice, she's coaching.  So no more running buddy for me.  Instead, I seemed to have fallen into pace with the lead group at practice, which just happens to be all boys (or should I say men?  I don't know).  

Running with the boys is different.  When there's conversation, the topics aren't quite the same.  There's no catching up on all the details of the weekly gossip.  And the whole "running together" thing feels different too. Erica and I always stick together.  If one of us is having a slow (or fast) day, the other adjusts to the necessary pace.  But with the boys, we seem to come together, and then fall apart, and then come together as the run progresses.  By the end of yesterday's run, we were all spread out with about 400 feet between each of us.  I could still see them up ahead or hear them behind, but we were all in one big line.  

While I didn't start my running career as a social runner (me and Lucy and the road was all I wanted), I have certainly become a social runner.  I'd just prefer to stay lumped together in one group.  Hopefully as the runs start to get longer, the boys will see some value in sticking together, instead of speeding ahead.  But maybe it's just a boy thing.  We shall see.

One good thing about running with the boys though, is that I am definitely pushing my paces, which makes me a happy lady.  If I can keep 8:30 paces during long runs for the rest of the season, I'll be ecstatic.

Miles 5 and 7 were water stops where I was a good little TNTer who
follows directions and didn't stop my watch.

After the run and breakfast with the team, I came home, walked Lucy for about an hour, cleaned a bit, and then treated myself to an evening that included Thai take out, wine, and Hulu.  When my Hulu queue was emptied, I found some Netflix movies, and I finally came up with a viable reason for why I never really watch movies.  They make me sad.  Whether they're comedies, dramas, action, or an indie, I'm always left with a bittersweet, sad taste in my mouth.  I'm sticking with Glee and Top Chef from here on out.

This morning, I woke up refreshed, energized, and not even worried about that lost hour of sleep.  Because it  is Daylight Savings time!!  Can you tell I'm excited about that?  Have I mentioned it enough?  I celebrated by starting the day with what I have now decided to call LucYoga (pronouced Lucy-Yoga, but cleverly squished together with a shared Y.  I so smart).

No, LucYoga is not going to be the new fad in the exercise world.  It's not as cool as Yogilates or CrossFit or any of those other things.  Plus, if you wanted to do LucYoga at home, you'd have to get your own Lucy. I don't share.

LucYoga came about when Lucy decided that she wanted to "help" me with my Sunday morning yoga.  Because she simply doesn't like to be ignored for an hour, so she may as well try to join in.  She tends to start off a little aloof, though.

"Oh, are you ignoring me?  I'll stay right here, but I'm ignoring you too."

As we progress through the first 15 minutes, she begins to help a little.

"I'll just hold your feet up for you.  No problem."

Then she slowly inches closer and closer.  For "support."

"It's like I'm a wall.  You can try to push me out of the way,
but I won't go anywhere!"

As we begin to work up a sweat, she is happy to help out in that area too.

"Don't worry mom, you won't have to shower.  I'll take care of it!"

But as with any 6-year-old, after about 45 minutes, she gets a little bored with helping.

"Hey! Look at this ball.  It's a pretty cool ball.  I'll nose it just a little closer to
your face so you can see it."

But she's most talented with "final relaxation."  As soon as I lay down and close my eyes, she joins right in.

"Oh are you done now?  I'm sleepy.  I don't need to play
anymore."

And there you have it.  LucYoga.  The hot new yoga trend.  Your own Lucy required.

Side note: So happy that me, Erica, and MacKenzie got a pedicure 2 weeks ago so my toes were nice and pretty for this LucYoga demo.

After being such a good helper, I pulled Lucy right out of bed and we went for a 30 minute run around Green Lake.  She's actually quite helpful at keeping me at recovery pace, which is why these are the only runs she joins me on anymore.  Anything faster than recovery pace, and she's not such a happy camper.

That tired her out, and now she's seems to be quite offended by that fact that my feet are popping her personal bubble.

I mean really, how dare I pop her bubble.  I think we may
need to have a heart to heart soon about whose couch
this really is.

To continue the International Day of Awesomeness, after getting cleaned up from the active morning, I did some planning for work for a couple hours and even went grocery shopping and made dinner.  Not too bad of a way to spend this day to celebrate the sun and Chuck Norris.

But, the sun has finally set which means that bedtime is encroaching.  Happy Daylight Savings Day!  Enjoy your sunshine.

Sunshine Day

I took a million pictures of the sun on my walk with Lucy after work today.

I'm a true Seattlite.  I worship the sun when it chooses to deign me with it's
presence.

I tried to get Lucy to pose for a picture in the sun, but she was nonplussed.

She wanted to get back to her sniffing.

And now she is perched on the couch, staring out into the sunshine, sniffing all the fresh air smells wafting in through the window I just opened for the first time since last fall.  She seems just as enthused as me to finally be able to air out this stuffy apartment a bit.

Prettily posed.

Her mood seems perfectly matched to mine right now.  Contemplative, thoughtful, curious and subdued.  We've both got things on our minds.  While her thoughts are most likely much less involved than mine, they seem to consume her just as equally.

The past few weeks have flown by so busily that I haven't had a whole lot of time to just think.  So on this beautiful Friday evening, I'm making the choice to just think.  During stolen moments in the in-betweens of my busy times lately, I've been thinking a lot about "life," and the way it fluidly changes over time, sometimes abruptly and sometimes so slowly that you don't even notice if you aren't paying close attention.  Sometimes change is by choice and sometimes not.  Sometimes I feel like the only constant in my life is change (in fact, I believe I wrote a post about just that topic back in the beginning days of this blogging experiment).  So I'm going to expound upon life and change here for a bit.  I apologize in advance if I wax too philosophical for you, but I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today.  Beautiful days do that to me sometimes.

All these thoughts were sparked recently by a post I saw on Facebook.  I know that sounds lame, but let me explain.  I follow a photography blogger on Facebook who goes by the name of HONY (Humans of New York).  HONY takes pictures of people of all shapes and sizes in NYC and accompanying the picture posts will often include a few quotes from the person in the picture as they describe their lives in whatever manner they deem appropriate.  While I am not shy in expressing my disdain for living in NYC, there are things that I  truly miss about it.  NYC is a city like no other, filled with people like no other.  And by following this blogger, I get to have a small taste now and then of all the things that I did (and still do) adore about NYC.  His pictures are beautiful, funny, witty, sad, charming, bittersweet, and intriguing.  So when one pops up on my news feed, I can't help but click and take a look.

This one, along with the quote below it, appeared a couple days ago:

"I did a little bit of everything. Was never great at anything... but I survived."

I hope I'm not breaking any copyright laws by reposting it here, but I've given full credit (here's HONY's non-Facebook website too).

Everything about this image and those words tore at my heartstrings.  It was like something clenched inside my heart and made me want to cry for this man.  This surprised me, because I am not typically someone who grows overcome with emotion at pictures of random strangers.  I'm not emotional or dramatic by nature.  But I felt incredibly sad for this man.  I hoped beyond hope that there were many wonderful times left out of this little summary of his life.

What was it that struck me so deeply?  I'm not really sure, but I think it's a combination of things.  The beautifully composed picture.  The far-off contemplative stare.  The cane hooked and waiting on the railing.  And the words.  The simple summation of life that he was never great at anything, but "I survived."  Is surviving really enough?

But most of all what struck me deepest was the fact that this fully alive man was sitting here on this stoop talking about his life in the past tense.  As if it was already done.  As if it was over and he is simply waiting it out until the end now.

I exist on a very different side of life than this man.  I look at where I am and think that life has barely started for me.  I'm not ready to think that one day I may talk in the past tense about my own life.  Doesn't he still have hope?  Can't he still find that one great thing?  What made him give up?  I want to know his story.

Maybe I am being too judgmental and inferring too much from a simple picture and simple words, but one can't help but think.  It's the simplest things that make you think the most sometimes.

In reality though, this image creates a desire to know what my own story will be.  I want to know how I'm going to write my story.  I wonder, if I am lucky enough to grow to be an old woman one day, how will I talk about my life?  How will I feel about the choices I made?  Will I be proud?  Will I be sad?  Will I smile or frown as I reflect back?  Will I talk in the past tense or will I continue living all the way up to the end?

I can't know the answers to these questions.  No one can.  But there is something I can do.  I can choose to make life great.  I can choose to live each day as if someone will be talking about me in the past tense tomorrow.

And not to brag or anything, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job of that.  I know what I love.  I love teaching and running and Lucy and friends and family and Seattle.  I love being active and I love being lazy. I love sunshine and I love the rain.  I love being around people and I love being by myself.  I love being busy and I love doing nothing.

Each day, I try to surround myself by the things I love as much as possible.  And I think that is all any of us can really do.  All we can do is simply try to be the happiest we know how to be.

So I'm going to keep doing that.  It's the best plan I've got, so I'm sticking to it.  Until things change.

Happy Sunshine Day.

Hot Chocolate 15K: I'm lucky I even finished

I need a weekend to recover from my weekend.  It was exhausting.  But all for the sake of good times, good friends, and good running.

When I signed up for the Hot Chocolate 15K, I was excited.  When I got tickets for the opening match of the Sounders season, I was excited.  And then I realized that both events were happening on the same weekend.  I was still excited, but also a little scared.  And that isn't the half of it.

Even if this weekend was long and busy though, I had a blast.  Because it reminded me of just how much I love Seattle.  It reinforced the thought that Seattle is, most definitely, my home.

Friday evening, after getting home from work and taking Lucy out for a quick walk, I met up with some teammates for a non-running social potluck get-together.  I got to see some people in normal clothes for the first time.  We chatted, ate, enjoyed some beers, and I was reminded of exactly why I love all my wonderful teammates.  Yes, we all love to run, but we are tied together by a cause that is much bigger than us.  I smiled to myself as I headed home to try to rest up for Saturday morning's run.

I woke up Saturday morning and headed up to Red Hook for what should have been an 80 minute run, which I shortened to a 45 minute (5 mile) run to keep my legs fresh for the 15K on Sunday.  I hung around practice until everyone finished, and as I left practice, I smiled.  Because on a Saturday morning, I don't want to be doing anything else but running with my team.  Not even sleeping in (most of the time). 

Then I headed to Seattle Center to pick up my race packet for the Hot Chocolate 15K.  This took way longer than it should have due to crappy parking and my lack of navigation skills in Seattle Center, but I accomplished the feat and headed back home to get ready for the Sounders game.

Once I was home and showered and Lucy had her long walk, I had about an hour to sit and unwind before heading downtown.  I took an accidental nap, which made me smile.  Accidental naps are the best.  There's nothing like being able to allow your body to fall asleep just when it wants to.  More often in my life, when my body desires sleep, I don't get to give in.  It feels wonderful to give in sometimes.

When I woke up, I hopped in the car with my HLM Sierra and started the journey towards downtown.  We headed to my friend Cristin's first, had some champagne, and then bussed it towards the stadium.  We went to our typical pre-Sounders game bar and saw our Sounders game crew, plus a few additions too.

Yay friends!  Yay Sounders!  Yay extra large plastic cups of beer!

As we sat at the bar, a literal downpour started outside.  It had been an otherwise dry, great day until just about time to head into the stadium.  But I smiled anyways.  Because I live in Seattle, and that is what happens in my city.

Century Link Field is still a pretty awesome sight to see, regardless of the
rain.

At the game, we all spread out to our respective seats, and Sierra and I got to have some quality HLM time (of which there has been far too little lately).

It's rainy.  It's cold.  The Sounders are losing.  But we're still smiling.

After the game, we headed to our typical post-Sounders game bar and saw more friends.  Then we moved on to the Boxcar (a bar I once called home back in the day) to see even more friends.  I limited my alcohol intake after the game and re-hydrated, but when all was said and done, I didn't get home until about 2:30 AM.

I tried to smile and laugh.  Despite how difficult that was.

Because at 5:15 AM, my alarm went off.  It was time to run the Hot Chocolate 15K.

After rolling out of bed, hastily choosing an outfit, and pushing myself out the door, I headed towards Seattle Center to meet Erica and Ana at Ana's place.  I got detoured a few times due to road closures, but I made it there and then we walked towards the start.  To say I was tired would be a bit of an understatement, but otherwise I felt pretty good.

We got to the start around 7:20 (for a 7:40 start) and the corrals were eerily empty.  As we stood there trying to stay warm in the close to freezing temps, wondering if anyone else was showing up for this race, the 9,000 people that registered for it started trickling in.

In our empty corral.  If those aren't the definition of tired eyes, I don't know
what is.

We eventually spotted another teammate, Regan, outside the corral and she came in the hang with us and start the race.  Luckily, the race started right on time, but for some reason the officials decided to send corrals off with 3 minutes in between.  I found this to be a little ridiculous considering the size of the race (I'm sure 1-1.5 minutes would have been more than adequate), but we were only in the 3rd corral, so we were off pretty quick.

My body kicked into gear, as it typically does at the start of a race.  The adrenaline of the start and the excitement of those around me always speeds up my legs at the beginning of the race.  Surprisingly, I was feeling pretty good.

Me, Erica, and Ana all stuck together for the first 5K and ran around an 8:35 pace.  We chatted as we ran and made it down, and then up, the first hefty hill. 

The first of MANY hefty hills.

This course was the opposite of flat.  It started by leaving Seattle Center, heading down Broad (I was so glad to be going down this hill at the start instead of up it at the end like in the Torchlight 8K) and then down Western towards Pike Place.  At Pike Place, it veered off to the right, down the hill towards the waterfront behind the Market.  Anyone who is familiar with Seattle knows that this road is not clean or pretty.  Once we got to the bottom of the hill, we turned around and ran right back up it to merge onto the on-ramp of 99 just before the tunnel.  Let's just say that I wasn't super enthused about this portion of the course.

And I also knew what was coming next.  After running through the tunnel, we ran ALL (that's caps, bold, italic, and underlined) the way up 99 to just past the exit towards Green Lake at 45th.  We hit the first 5K mark after coming out of the tunnel, and Erica kind of took off at that point.  All three of us had attended the Sounders game the night before, but Erica had been the only smart one to go home right after the game.  Ana and I weren't quite feeling the speed.

While running up the massively long 3 mile hill on 99, Ana and I managed to keep somewhere between a 9 and 9:10 pace.  Considering my condition, I'm pretty happy with this.

As we rounded back down 99 for this long, boring out and back, we picked our pace back up to the 8:40 range and then 8:30 for the last mile plus.  Luckily, running uphill for so long, means you get to run back downhill on the way back. 

The finish was as disappointing as the rest of the course as we exited 99, entered Seattle Center, and climbed one more slight hill for finish right in the middle of Seattle Center.  Ana and I finished together in 1 hour and 22 minutes.  And it wasn't quite as painful as I thought it would be.  And there was hot chocolate, chocolate fondue, and lots of dippables at the finish.  That was kind of tasty.

Here are the splits for those interested:

Considering I was functioning on 2.5 hours of sleep, I'm pleased with these times.

Despite my lack of sleep and how tough and boring this course was, I still had a lot of fun.  I don't think it had anything to do with the actual race though.  As I ran this race, I realized that I've developed a community of friends and support in Seattle that I've never had anywhere else.

I started the race with friends.  As I ran, I saw more.  Christie was standing on the Aurora bridge cheering people on.  I passed my principal coming back across the bridge.  I yelled at Regan as she was running out and we were running back.  Yanni yelled at me from across the road as I came in towards the finish.  Dorothy was there cheering us on as we crossed the finish line.  As I enjoyed hot chocolate and chocolate fondue at the end, I saw another co-worker.  I knew I had more co-workers and more teammates out there on the course too.  And this wasn't even a team-affiliated event.

As I saw all these people, my smile grew wider and wider.  Somehow, in the 4 and a half years that I've been here in Seattle, I've become a part of a community.  Or many communities, I guess.  I have friends I've met throughout the years.  I have my running friends.  I have my co-workers who I've happily watched become more and more physically active over the years.  I have many people I care about, and many who care about me.

And when I think of how much my life has flourished here in Seattle, I can't help but compare it to NYC.  Who knows where my life would have led me had I stayed in that city, but I was suffocating there.  I had a couple good friends, but that was it.  That was life.  Here in Seattle, life is so much more.  

The surprising (but not surprising) thing about it all is that this wonderful life I've created for myself seems to revolve around running.  Running seems to be the common denominator in everything that makes me happy and keeps me sane.

Of course, other factors are involved.  First graders make me happy.  So does this ball of energy:

Someone felt a little neglected this weekend...

But running seems to be the string that ties all the happy pieces together.  And Seattle seems to be that background that helped it all happen.  

After the race, I went home and crashed into bed.  I slept until about 3:00, woke up to attend our Winter Team Reunion party, and then came home and was asleep again by 8:30.  

All in all, not a bad weekend.  Time to gear up for the next one.

I need a brain break

My brain is tired.  I think it needs a break.  In first grade, we take a 10 minute "brain break" after our lunch recess every day.  With the lights turned down and children resting at their tables, this is the most calm, quiet, soothing time of our entire day.

I've had some very clear signs this week that my brain needs some rest:
-Tuesday morning I woke up to find my bottle of soy sauce, typically housed in the door of the fridge, nestled on the top shelf of my dish cabinet.
-Today, as I left the parking lot of the school I've been stationed at for training this week, I was frantically waved down and stopped by a 5th grader who informed me that my water bottle was still sitting on the top of my car.
-On several occasions, I've walked from the living room to the kitchen, or kitchen to bedroom, or bedroom to living room, or any combination thereof, and completely forgotten why.  If I'd been at my own school this week, I'm sure there would have been many fruitless walks across the classroom or down the hallway as the purpose for these trips slipped right out of my brain.

Even Lucy is getting fed up with my brainlessness:

She takes her personal blindfolds out when she gets sick
of me.

Looking forward into the month of March, I'm a little concerned that my brain may just about die out completely by March 31st.

March is JAM PACKED with running fun.  It starts off this weekend with the Hot Chocolate 15K.  Then 2 weeks later, the St. Patty's Day Dash, which is a little over a 5K.  And the week after that, the Mercer Island Half Marathon.  Mid-month, we start hill reps for my Seattle RNR marathon training.  And of course, my favorite date this year, March 10th, is coming up soon and I'll be able to enjoy some relaxed post-work runs in the daylight without fear that the dark with encroach too soon.

Add to that 2 Sounders games, Team in Training practices, being a track coach for our Kinder though 2nd grade kiddos, and many well-deserved weekend naps, and you have what I would call a very busy month.

But what I'm telling myself in my positive teacher voice is: I'm looking forward to kicking the February doldrums to the curb and getting re-motivated to eat healthy and do a lot of mindless running.  And by "mindless" running, I mean runs where I think about nothing of any importance except the joys that running brings.

And at the end of it all, I will be rewarded with Spring Break.  Where I'm pretty sure I will sit immobile on my couch for a week straight, fighting with Lucy for leg space.

In order to prep myself for this excitingly busy month, I have bought myself some fancy new Mizuno kicks:

Color!!! Yay!  Been waiting on these guys a few weeks
now.  Apparently there is a rash of new large-footed
runners out there demanding my shoe size.

I've been a dedicated Brooks fan for the past 3 years, so I feel some pangs of guilt making the switch.  But as I ran around Green Lake today, I couldn't help but look down and admire my bright feet every now and then.  Brooks hasn't caught on to the bright shoe trend for their Adrenaline's yet and I also finally realized that maybe I should look for a little bit of a lighter shoe.  These feel like they're about half the weight of my Brooks.

I'm not giving up on my Brooks completely (I still feel loyal to them and have a pair that are no where close to worn out yet), but I'm excited to be in something new.  

One of these things is not like the others, one of these
things just doesn't belong (if you're not singing that
in Big Bird's voice, I don't know what universe you
grew up on)...hint: ignore the converse.

So, armed with new running shoes and a positive attitude, I am going to enter the month of March with an enthused smile.  My brain may completely give out on me by the end, but I've got 23 little first graders and one little puppy dog who are experts at reminding me of every little thing I've forgotten throughout the day (in the classroom, we often have "let's find Ms. Kaplan's iPad [or water bottle or marker or any other thing of importance]" hunts).

And then I will take a big, huge, deep breath and collapse for a week as I get recharged and re-energized and give myself a brain break before the final stretch of the school year.  

And possibly start training for a mid-summer half Ironman...

I apologize in advance for forgetting to do that thing that I promised you I would do in the month of March.  I probably had really good intentions and then my brain malfunctioned.

Wish me luck.

My body is telling me something

I am acutely aware of my body.

I realize that statement can be interpreted in many ways, so let me explain.

I remember as a kid one summer, that I got stung by a bee (or so we supposed).  I remember not realizing that I had been stung, or that anything had happened to me at all until, as I was wandering around the decks of our neighborhood pool, I looked down and noticed that my ankle had swelled to the size of a large grapefruit.  Once I looked down and saw it, I suddenly felt the warmth and pain inside the swelling.

Until seeing the swollen results of the "bee sting" (I've surmised that this is what we called the incident simply because it was the only thing that seemed to logically explain the random swelling that disappeared within a day), I did not realized that anything was wrong with me.  I had no idea how to listen to my body.

Sometimes I look at my first graders as they fall ill throughout a day and simply complain of feeling "tired" if they complain at all, but then get a paper cut that bleeds and this results in an uncontrollable need to take a trip to the nurse.  Because look, "IT"S BLEEDING!"  And I think to myself, they have SO much to learn about themselves.

As a full grown adult, I have learned much about my body since my childhood days.  I attribute much of this to age, maturity (yep, claiming to be mature), and life experience.  But I also attribute a great deal of my body awareness to running.

Running has taught me how to truly listen to my body.  To listen to what it needs, and what it wants, and what it most certainly does NOT want.  It's taught me to pay attention to the little twinges and aches and pains, but not to freak out about them.  It's taught me to feel my energy level, my hydration level, my hunger needs...and to listen to them.  Running has taught me that my body is capable of just about anything, as long as I take care of it and treat it nicely.

As a kid, I didn't notice when my body was unhappy with me.  So it didn't matter.  If I was grumpy or sad or tired or upset or happy or energetic or any sort of feeling, I didn't think it had anything to do with my body.  My skin was the bag that carried around these bones and muscles that allowed me to swim and climb trees and ride bikes.  I didn't care too much about it.  And luckily, it survived.

But now, as a "mature," adult runner, I realize that my body is the foundation for everything I do.  And what I choose to do to my body and put into my body is directly reflected in the outcomes of my day.

I used to be a naysayer.  Yeah right, being Gluten Free makes you feel better, I'd think.  It's all in your head.  A cleanse?? Really?  Such a fad follower.  South Beach Diet.  Atkins.  Jenny Craig.  Eliminate carbs.  Go fat free.  Be a juicer.  Splenda instead of sugar.  No salt.  Fiber, fiber, fiber!

All these things probably have some sort of research proving their effectiveness (I would hope), but the fad diets of the media always overwhelmed me and seemed ridiculous.  And to a certain extent, I still think they are.  I don't necessarily believe in "dieting."  I believe in changing the way you eat in a sustainable, livable way.  A way that you can sustain for the rest of your life.  A fad diet may work for a few months until you realize that all you really want to do is eat that bagel, and then another one, and another, and it all falls to crap.

Random picture of Lucy naughtily on the couch when she's
not allowed that you've all probably already seen on FB
because I have no other relevant pictures for this wordy
post.  She's adorable even when making bad choices.

I don't want to sound too judging here, because food and I have always gotten along pretty well.  All my life, I've been a relatively healthy eater.  As a kid, my favorite snack was cherry tomatoes in ranch dressing.  Or a pickle.  I've never been a sweet or dessert person.  I love fruits and vegetables.  I cut out red meat and pork from my diet when I was 12 (I wanted to save the poor cows and pigs) and haven't knowingly eaten either of these things since.  Fighting weight has never been a major problem for me.

Don't get me wrong though--I certainly have my weaknesses.  I will eat an entire large bags of chips in one sitting.  I LOVE SALT.  And dips for the salt.  Oh man--french onion dip, ranch, salsa, spinach and artichoke dip, smoked salmon dip.  I found a mean recipe for a jalapeno popper dip on Pinterest.  To. Die. For.  Not healthy in any way.

And fried food.  Chicken strips.  Fries.  Tots.  Fish and chips.  Onion blossoms at the fair are one of my favorite things.  All coated in salt.

And cheese.  Cheese, cheese and more cheese.  I want ALL the cheese.

Oh wait, here's a semi relevant picture.  Saw this guy
sitting outside the grocery store and laughed out loud.
Didn't know they still existed.  I don't eat Oscar Meyer Wieners.
Or any hot dogs.  I refused to eat those by about the age of 6.

There's a point to all this rambling here.  I'm getting to it, promise.

In general though, I'm a pretty healthy eater.  And being more acutely aware of my body has also made me more acutely aware of my body's reaction to the types of foods I eat.  When I eat a cupcake for a first grade birthday party, half an hour later I'm grumpy and have a sugar headache.  And dairy and I don't really get along.

Before I became obsessed with running marathons (when I was just plain old running), I had developed some really good eating habits.  I had decreased my portion sizes, ate a salad before my dinner every night, made my own lunch every day, and mostly stayed away from my weaknesses minus some minor guilt-free indulgences (which I think everyone deserves once in a while, if you can keep it to just once in a while).  I was really proud of my eating habits.

Lately, not so much.  I've been eating out a lot.  I've been indulging on cheese.  I haven't been eating my daily salads.  I've been buying frozen lunches.  I've been eating a lot of chips.  And I'm starting to see it in the mirror, which isn't so fun (side note: I don't weigh myself ever--I judge my weight based on how I feel when I look in the mirror, which is all that really matters to me).

And I think my body is starting to yell at me.  A couple weeks ago, I even tried to appease it by switching to soy milk in my morning cereal and coffee.  This has been awesome because the tennis ball that seemed to reside in my stomach after a milky morning has completely disappeared.  Instead of feeling heavy and icky when I get to school, I feel light and ready to go.  I've been slowly trying to phase out most dairy.  Today I got a soy latte instead of a regular latte, and my typical post-latte tummy ache was nonexistent.  But I've been eating a lot of cheese too.  Which defeats the purpose.

Today, I felt like crap on the way home from work.  I had an all day training and went out for Teriyaki for lunch (we teachers don't get to go out for lunch too often, so we take advantage when we can).  Then I had a meeting after the all day training where dinner was provided and ate two extremely greasy, cheesy pieces of pizza.  So on the drive home, I felt that heaviness in my tummy that makes me uncomfortable and disappointed in my choices for the day.

And I'm just going to mention in an aside here the minor fact that I've been sick for almost 2 months straight, and it's been about 2 months that I've been lax in the food choice category.  Perhaps there's a correlation?

I promised you a point to this post, so here it is.  I've been doing a great job of taking care of my body athletically.  I've been running and then mixing things up with boot camp and yoga.  I've been changing routines in an effort to treat my body more kindly instead of pounding pavement every day.  But my eating habits have slipped.

So I'm going to set a new goal for myself here on the internet (I've found that publicly set internet goals tend to work for me, even if no one is actually holding me accountable for them--for example, I still haven't touched that snooze button since August).  I want to get back to feeding my body well.  I want to make my own lunches again.  I want to eat a salad with dinner and go back to taking more time to cook like I used to.  I want to pay attention to the dairy, meat, and other substances that don't work for me and limit them.  I want to continue phasing out dairy, even though I will never give up cheese (has anyone tried soy yogurt before?  I bought some from Trader Joe's and it's staring at me in my fridge, but I'm kind of scared).  I want to be smarter about what I'm ordering when going out to eat.  And go out to eat less.

So, I may be two months late with this, but here is my official New Year's/last year in my 20s resolution:  Get back to eating better.  Continue to pay attention to what my body likes and what it doesn't.  And adjust accordingly.  And then feel better and be even happier.

Ready...go.

February doldrums

I think I'm in the depth of the February doldrums.  Winter has been here for a while, but the sun is slowly giving us little tastes of what soon will be.  I'm beginning to feel the hope of spring, but the also the frustration of still knowing that there is much time to wait.

The days are steadily stretching.  It's been a little light out if I don't leave for work earlier than 7.  And after work, the sun seems to be sticking around just a little longer.  But not quite long enough.  I still feel as though I'm stuck in the dark days of winter when I leave for work in the dark, get home in the dark, and never see daylight from my windowless classroom.

I'm counting down the days until March 10th...

Ok...I was going to provide a "do-it-yourself" task here to figure out the significance of March 10th, but I did a little Google pre-search to see what you'd end up with, and here's what I got:

Number 3 is my favorite.  The International Day of Awesomeness
because it is Chuck Norris's birthday.  Did you know that Chuck Norris
has never done a marathon?  That makes me super awesome.

But none of those reasons are why I'm looking forward to March 10th.  March 10th is, in fact, the start of daylight savings time!  Yay, daylight!  I've so missed you.  Even if you're gloomy, covered in clouds, and blurred by the rain, I find you better than perpetual darkness.  Especially after the events of last week.

Today, as I contemplated the topic of this overdue post, I wanted to write about my February doldrums.  And my constant displeasure with constant illness.  And my frustration with being very tired most of the time.  And my unfailing uneasiness while out of doors at night.  And my seemingly strained patience level with my talkative 1st graders.  And my annoyance at substitute teachers that keep cancelling my upcoming 4-day job.   And my decision that internet dating totally sucks (yeah, probably wouldn't have written about that anyways, but it totally does--and I've made that decision a few times before but somehow get sucked back into it).  And my displeasure at the prospect of a tiring busy day tomorrow when I'm already feeling tired and over-spent.

And all the other little frustrations of everyday life that can cause the doldrums.

But wallowing in my doldrums will not help anyone, including myself.  So I'm going to flip this Negative Nelly attitude on it's head and force a "Thankful Things Thursday" out of this brain, Ali on the Run style.  Because I have a whole lot to be thankful for, big and small.  And a few little doldrums won't make me forget that.

So today, here's what I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful for the little taste of daylight I got this week.  I had Monday and Tuesday off for "Midwinter Break" and the weather in Seattle was beautiful.  My favorite thing to do when I have a day off is to go to the zoo.  I live within 5 minute's walking distance of the zoo and I am a member, which I means I get for free as often as I want.  So on Monday, I got to hang out with my favorite zoo buddies in the great day-lit outdoors with wild animals.

Are these zoo buddies or wild animals?  I don't know.  It's apparently the best
way to see the hidden Arctic Fox.  And a little test--how long will it take Ryan
and David to read the blog and get mad at me for posting this picture on the
internet??

I'm thankful Lucy and I had some daytime walks.  The vast majority of our walks in the past few months have been in the dark, both morning and night.  So some carefree daylight walks through the neighborhood park on my days off were just what we needed.  

Then she stared at me exasperatedly from "her"end of the
couch as I tried to stretch my legs out.  Apparently I'm not
allowed on that end of the couch anymore.  But she gets
to come on my side all she wants.  I am not complaining.
I am thankful.

I'm starting to really like my new exercise outlets.  I did an hour-long class on my Yoga Studio app on Sunday and liked it way better than the 30 minute class I've been doing the past couple weeks.  More time in the stretches, more relaxation, and a little more time to feel like my body is warming up to the moves.  And Boot Camp is kicking my butt in a good way every week.  I'm starting to see muscles where I haven't before.

I'm taking it easy with the running and am ok with it.  It's been a long time since my lungs and sinuses have felt normal.  And now my ears are beginning to plug and pop with some regularity too.  So when I have a week like this week where I have only gotten 2 runs in so far, I'm learning to be ok with it.  I need to figure out how to get healthy first.  And I'm thankful for my ability to try to make that a priority over running without freaking out.

I'm thankful for heat.  Heat blasting out of car vents after a cold day in the windowless classroom.  Heat turned up just a little too high in my small apartment.  Heat from a steamy shower after a cold rainy run.  Body heat from the exasperated but tolerant puppy on the other end of the couch keeping my toes warm.  Heat from a fuzzy blanket or down comforter.  Heat in the winter time is the best feeling ever, especially after you've been cold.

I'm thankful for red wine.  It's tasty.  It's great in the winter.  It's perfect to pair with a fuzzy blanket, cozy couch, puppy toe-warmer, and idea-filled writer's brain.

I'm thankful that tomorrow is Friday again.  I've only worked 2 days so far this week.  And tomorrow is Friday.  That is a great feeling.

I'm thankful I'm finally off the waiting list for the Insurgent audiobook at the library.  It is downloaded to my phone and waiting to be listened to.  Tris and Tobias will have my rapt attention for a few days.

I'm thankful for all the kind, caring, worried messages after last week's post.  Hearing how badly you all want me to stay safe and be smart makes me feel all warm and fuzzy from the inside out.  And hearing that my opinion helped voice the opinions of others was reassuring as well.

I'm thankful for Team in Training.  Because we're doing everything we can to make this come true:

Someday is today.

I'm thankful for my sister, whose birthday is today.  Happy Birthday big sis!!  I'm sending you hugs of love that span all the oceans and lands that separate us.  Lucy sends a slobbery kiss too.

I was looking for a fun kitty-themed birthday picture for cat-lover sister.
I found this instead.  I think it's totally birthday-worthy.

Yep, being thankful really does work.  February doldrums are faded for now and I'm am reminded of just how awesome my life really is.  I have very little to complain about.

Come March 10th, I'll be celebrating Chuck Norris's International Day of Awesomeness harder than Chuck Norris.  Life is good.