I heart running

            I love to run.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that I love the act of running.  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I do.  But there are certainly days when I feel like crap.  Just 3 miles can be torturous, and the thought of even toughing it up one hill is too much to handle.  Running is a challenge. 

But there’s obviously something about running that makes it great.  There wouldn’t be so many people out there running if there wasn’t something about this thing that keeps us going.  I’ve mentioned before the battle of a race, the amazing feeling of fighting through the negative thoughts and finishing.  But I don’t run a race every day.  In fact, in the 3 years that I’ve been running, I’ve only completed 5 major (half or full marathon distance) races.  There are so many other reasons why I love to run. 

There are moments during a long run where time stops moving.  You hit that runner’s high and you feel like you could just keep going forever.  The miles float away under your feet and the world seems to come to a standstill because you are running, and that’s the only thing that is happening right now.  All you feel is the rhythm of your feet hitting the earth over and over.  Your body is so in tune with itself that the running seems effortless.  Breathing is rhythmic, your heart beats strongly in your chest…you may as well be sitting on your couch because things just seem that easy.

You may have heard the phrase “running is cheaper than therapy,” or perhaps you’ve seen it on a bumper sticker.  As cheesy as it sounds, it is completely true.  Running is how I release my stress and tension.  I often have difficulty turning my brain off after teaching.  Only running can truly flip the switch.  On days I come home and head straight for the couch, I can’t seem to relax.  My back is tense, my hands clench slightly, and I can’t take my mind off the events of day.  When I run, everything releases.  Physically and mentally.  The tension of the day disappears and stressful thoughts are extinguished—only to be rekindled with the blaring of my morning alarm.  But for those few evening hours after a run, I can focus on making a good meal, writing a blog, reading a book, watching some Hulu, or enjoying time with friends.

I love to run because of this:

Because just one second ago she was snoring, deep in puppy dreams.  She managed to open her eyes just that far after the surprising flash of the first picture, then 30 seconds later they had slowly closed and the snoring had recommenced.

I also love running because it is my time.  I have made the choice to run.  I can run wherever I want, however far I’d like to go, and for however long I chose to.  For my first year of running, it was a solo act.  Just me and Lucy tackling the streets and trails as best we could.  With my headphones in my ears, I am in my own bubble, my own world, and all I have to think about is me.  I often run with friends now, but this is still my time.  I choose to share my time with friends who choose to share their time with me.  I still enjoy my solo runs with Lucy, but I find I need them less than I used to and often prefer company during a run.  Regardless of who I am with (or without), running is the one part of my life where I am selfishly doing something just for me.  And I am totally OK with that.

I love to run because I love to eat.  I love food.  All kinds of food—I’m not very picky (minus a few certain meats).  Running allows me to eat.  A lot.  Which makes both me and my tummy very happy.  After a Saturday morning long run, I feel no pangs of guilt devouring a huge plate of Eggs Florentine piled high with hollandaise sauce next to a mound of oily hash browns doused in ketchup and hot sauce.  The night before a run, I have no qualms about shoveling a gigantic bowl of pasta down my throat then sopping up the leftover sauce with an extra piece of bread.  Food is good, and running lets me enjoy it guilt-free.

The list of reasons why I love to run is endless—I haven’t even mentioned the health benefits, or the impact running has had on my social life.  But there is one reason why I love running that far surpasses the others.  I’ve mentioned before that I love to feel comfortable.  I like my routine.  And I often get myself stuck in my routines.  When things aren’t always going well for me, I turn to my routines for comfort.  I begin to go through the motions of my day so that I can turn my brain off completely.  I can go into auto-pilot, no thought or decision-making required.

When get stuck in a comfortable rut like this, I don’t feel things.  For many reasons throughout my life, I’ve become very practiced at letting things roll off my shoulders.  This is often beneficial.  In social situations, I describe it as being “laid back” and “easy going.”  When I’m teaching, I call it “patience.”  But at other times, I’ve gotten so good at letting things not “bother” me that often I think I’ve let it go too far.  It doesn’t bother me, because it doesn’t affect me.  I don’t feel the emotion.  I’m numb.  But when I run…I feel.  I feel my feet hit the sidewalk.  I feel my lungs struggle for air.  I feel my muscles strain as I push up a hill.  I feel tired.  I feel exhilarated.  I feel.

The more often I run, the harder I push myself, the higher the hill, the more I feel.  And to feel is to live.  After all, when you boil things down, what more are we than our feelings and emotions?  These things shape the choices we make, the way we live our lives, the people we become.  Without feeling, what are we but a mass of flesh and bones?  So at the end of things, I love to run because I love to feel.  And I love to feel because I love to live.