Why I write

Back when I started this blog about a year and a half ago, people would often ask me, "Why are you writing it?"  And I could never come up with a succinct, coherent answer for them.  I still get asked the question every now and again, and up until very recently, I couldn't quite articulate my reasons in a way that seemed logical.

Not that I think anyone needs a coherent, succinct, logical reason for writing a blog (or anything else for that matter), but I'm a person of the type that likes to find the "why" behind things.  I like to think there's a reason for everything, and therefore I should have a reason for this.

There's a reason I didn't run today (my legs and abs are ridiculously sore from our after school boot camp on Monday that is now being led by our P.E. teacher.  Then I ran yesterday for the 2nd time since Goofy.  Crazy sore).

There's a reason I became a teacher (because I love learning and want to share that love with the children).

There's a reason I got Lucy (because she's fabulous and she got me running).

There's a reason I moved to Seattle (actually, lots of reasons...too many to list).

There's a reason why I'm closing in on 30 and still single (currently looking for the reason but I know it's there somewhere...it'll turn up at some point).

There's a reason for everything.

So when I randomly stumbled upon this quote a few days ago, the reason why I write became abundantly clear:

"A writer writes not because [s]he is educated but because [s]he is driven by the need to communicate.  Behind the need to communicate is the need to share.  Behind the need to share is the need to be understood.  The writer wants to be understood much more than [s]he wants to be respected or praised or even loved.  And that, perhaps is what makes [her] different from others."     ~Leo Rosten

 Every word of this quote resonates with me.  "To be understood..."  It is all I ever wanted.

Writing is something I have always loved.  I kept journal after journal after journal from elementary school all the way up through college (sometimes in fits and starts in the later years).  In middle school, I wrote almost daily.  In high school, I wrote when I was sad or scared.  In college, I wrote when I was lonely or angry at New York City.  Before I realized that teaching was my calling, I was going to minor in Creative Writing in college.  Writing has always been with me.  But until reading that quote, I didn't quite get why.

I still have many of my diaries, journals, and writings saved in random places throughout my apartment.  Stacks of journals in drawers, notebooks filled with random thoughts and poetry on shelves, computer files full of "stories" and "books" that were attempted but abandoned just as quickly.  And when I go back to read all of these writings, the one thing that stands glaringly out is that I have always been a girl who silently screamed out to be understood.  "Please hear me," and "please understand" are phrases repeated hundreds of times on those pages.

I wanted to be heard.  I wanted to be listened to.  But I didn't know how to reach out.  I was too scared to say it all out loud.  So instead I told the pages.  Instead, I became a writer, trying to put my thoughts into words that people could understand, eventually, maybe, if they wanted to.  But the problem with all the pre-blog writings was that I knew no one would ever read them.  No one would ever really understand.

And until recently, I never even considered myself a writer.

But then, 16 months ago, for reasons unbeknownst to me at the time, I started writing this blog.  I used running and my little Lucy as a way to get it all out.  I therapeutically told the story of me, and Lucy, and how we started running together.  And how we upended our lives and moved to Seattle.

Remember us?  Driving across the country?  Changing
our lives?  Well, Lucy didn't have much say in it.  But
she was totally along for the ride.

And then, when the story was over.  I kept writing.  I kept telling the story.  I keep telling the story.  It's the Never Ending Story (love that movie).  And I have no intention of stopping any time soon.  I hope you're all OK with that.

Because what's great about this blog is that I get to be me.  Utterly and truly me.  And finally, I feel like I get to be understood.  I get to be selfish without feeling guilty.  Because if you like it, great.  Stick around.  Continue to enjoy.  And if you don't, that's ok too.  There are other things out there that will probably be much more to your liking.  No one's forcing you to be here.

But while I'm being selfish, I'm going to go ahead a make a list.  A list of...

Everything I've Gotten from Writing this Thing

1)  Understanding.  Of course this is the top of the list.  Go read the quote.  This is everything.  The best kind of understanding I've gotten is from my family.  Being home for Christmas and having my parents at the Goofy Challenge with me helped me to see that they really seem to understand why it is I do all this running.  And what it entails.  And I love that they understand.  I love that it helps them (and all of you) to understand me just a little bit more.

2)  Guilt-free Lucy bragging.  My puppy is really cute.  She is the cutest ever.  She is the bestest dog in the whole wide world.  I love Lucy.  Lucy.  Lucy.  Lucy.

Here's Lucy 3 months old on the day I got her.  OMG SO CUTE.  Look at
that ginormous ear.

3)  I get all my running talk out.  I like to talk about running.  I like to retell the events of my runs in logical detailed order.  When I do it here, it prevents me from talking incessantly to all of my friends about running.  It allows me to talk about other things with my friends.  So that my friends will stay my friends.  And not say "UGH!! All she does is talk about running!!"  "And Lucy!  I get it, she's cute, enough!"  If you get sick of my running and Lucy talk, you can leave and I'll never know.

4)  I get to write and people will read it.  I love words.  I love playing with them and stringing them together in a logical order that sounds and feels good.  I like creating images and writing in a way that happens to keep people involved in the story.  It's an amazing feeling to have people read your writing and actually enjoy it.  As previously mentioned, I've written a lot in my life but never felt the justification of having people read it.  And enjoy it.  It makes me feel kind of like a writer.

5)  It's a good time filler.  I need my alone time on a regular basis.  I could spend my alone time watching TV or doing some other useless thing.  Instead I'm writing.  And thinking.  And feeling.  And breathing.  And living.

6)  I'm inspiring people.  I must say, this is something I NEVER intended to do at the start of this whole writing experiment.  I wanted to share my experiences, my life, and my inspiration.  I wanted to talk about my running and how it gets me through the day to day of life.  If I ever got discouraged by running or sad about something, I wanted to be able to look back and remember why I kept running.  Why I kept pushing and trying and striving to do more and be better.  I wanted to be able to remember why I should keep doing it.  But it turns out, this inspires other people too.  I've never considered myself an "inspirational" person, but if what I write can help people feel motivated to get up and do more and improve their lives in some way, I am thrilled to have been a part of that.

So, there you go.  In case you're like me and need to know the "why" of things.  There's the why.  There's why Doggedly Running came into existence and continues to grow with my words.  One day I may reach my catharsis.  I may decide, "Ok, that's enough.  I've written it all."  But I highly doubt that day will come along any time in the near future.

So in the mean time, I hope you stick around for the ride.  I oh-so-selfishly want you here with me for all the ups and downs and in betweens.  And maybe..just maybe...you'll glean something from it too.

I'm back in the game...mostly

My official post-Goofy Challenge debut to running was supposed to be yesterday.

Yesterday was our "Kick-Off" for Team in Training summer season.  This is the first official practice of the season where all the teams (hike, cycle, triathlon, marathon) join together to celebrate being on the team and listen to lots of thanks you's from LLS staff members.  Then we all (runners/walkers, some hike and tri people) go for our first run together.

I was especially excited for this particular Kick-Off because I somehow convinced--after they expressed interest of course--two of my co-worker running clubbers, Natalie and Stephanie, to jump on my crazy-wagon.  And by "jump on my crazy-wagon," I mean join Team in Training, fundraise for LLS, and train for a half or full marathon.

Even though we run together most Thursdays, I was super excited to run with these ladies on their first official TNT Saturday run.

The night they signed their lives away...how can you say no when Candy
Cane Lane is involved?

But, alas, life would not have it.  As I woke up Saturday morning to head to Kick-Off, it wasn't running clothes I donned.  My running tights had to wait yet another day on the "dirty but still wearable hook" in my closet (don't judge).  My new pretty green Brooks had to sit sadly by the door again.  Instead, I pulled on some jeans and a pair of worn-out running shoes (I felt I had to at least feel like a runner) and walked out the door.  No watch.  No new snazzy RoadID (birthday present courtesy of Erica).  No hat to keep the rain out of my eyes.  Just clothes.

Why, you may ask?  Why, after a solid, steady, self-enforced 2 week running hiatus did I have to walk slowly for yet another day?  Well, because I had a golf ball in my throat.  A golf ball covered in sand-paper.

Well...not literally...but it felt like that.  It felt like someone had taken my left tonsil out and replaced it with a sand-papery, pain-filled, golf ball.

It started Wednesday morning with a slight soreness in the back of my throat.  No big deal.  I could ignore that.  Then I woke up Thursday morning and it kind of hurt to swallow.  So I downed some ibuprofen, repeated that action every 4 hours throughout the day, and made it to 3:20 to get the kids on the buses.  With the adrenaline rush of the day gone, but still a long evening to look ahead to (we had a meeting at school at until 7:30 that night, and because I commute so far I don't go home between school hours and late meetings), I could feel my tonsil growing, expanding down to touch my tongue.  I went with a couple co-workers to happy hour to fill the time and drank hot tea to soothe the throat.  But it wasn't feeling so good.

So when I got back to school, I talked with my office manager and we decided to go ahead and call a sub for the next day--maybe I should go to a doctor since I found it impossible to swallow without wincing.  

I woke up the next morning, managed to snag myself an 8:45 doctor's appointment, and got in with little waiting.  After answering the typical questions, the doctor asked me to open wide, took a quick look inside and responded with something that amounted to "ew--oh, uh, hmm."  He immediately walked out the door to grab a strep throat test and was blown away when it came back negative.  Then, as he sat thinking, he said "well, the only other thing that can make a throat look like that in your age group is mono."  Mono.  Lovely.

So the nurse took a blood draw, and they shuffled me out the door with a prescription for 10 days worth of Penicillin saying, "you might hear from us tomorrow, but by Monday afternoon at the latest."  Great.  So I have to just wait it out to see if I have mono??  This is fun.

I went straight to the grocery store, picked up 3 different kinds of soup and the fixings for a 4th, 2 pints of Ben and Jerry's, a box of strawberry popsicles, and 2 boxes of Throat Coat tea.  The only things I could fathom swallowing at the time.  I did nothing but cuddle on the couch with my Lucy dog for the rest of the day.

I'm not an ice cream person.  I have never in my life bought a pint of Ben and
Jerry's.  My throat hurt that bad.

I was determined, however, not to miss Kick-Off.  So Saturday morning I went and tried to keep a fairly large bubble around myself, not touch people, and tried to keep my painful, unavoidable coughs heartily covered in my sleeve.  Then, just before the celebrations officially began, I got the call from the doctor's office: NO MONO!!!  Thank you Northgate Sports Medicine Clinic for being so quick with my test results.

I celebrated by waiting around while almost everybody else ran, drinking tea, trying to swallow a cupcake, and air high-fiving people as they came back from the run.  Then I was so exhausted I had to go home and take a long nap.  After that, I made it through the entire 2nd season of New Girl and the first few episodes of the 2nd season of Once Upon a Time before falling asleep again.

Just a few of the summer team crew.  Yep, Movin 92.5 was there to celebrate
with us.  We're that cool.

Yay, they finished their first run of the season! I did not.

This morning, I woke up with a mostly-feeling-better throat.  The antibiotics have kicked in, taken the pain away, and left very nasty metallic taste in my mouth, which I'm crossing my fingers doesn't last for the next 8 days as I finish off the dose.  I'm also hoping that the phlegmy, unpleasant cough I've had for a month is associated with all this and will be kicked to the curb by the end of these metallic mouthed days.

And of course, when I woke up feeling good again, I thought to myself man, I really miss Green Lake.  As sick as I get of Green Lake when I'm training, I hadn't seen it's brackish waters in almost 3 weeks and it seemed to be calling my name.  But I wanted to be good, to rest my sickly body, to be a smart person and take just one more day off.  So I leashed Lucy up and we took a nice, steady walk around the lake.  I plugged in my earphones, finished up my audiobook (if you haven't read Divergent and are a Hunger Games type fan, it's a MUST READ), and tried to fend off thoughts off it would be some much more awesome if I was running right now. 

Instead I tried to think, good job being all smart and stuff and choosing not to run today.  And then, when I was about 3/4 of the way around, patting myself on the back while gritting my teeth with wanting-to-run anxiety, Erica texted me:

I obviously needed A LOT of convincing to say yes.

Two o'clock rolled around, I pulled my running tights off the "dirty but still wearable" hook, threw on my Mickey Marathon shirt, a rain jacket, my new Goofy Challenge hat, and Erica and I took off out the door.

And for the first 2 miles I felt great.  Erica and I hadn't had a real chance to catch up on life since Goofy, so we chatted away as we typically do.  By the 3rd mile I was feeling pretty winded, and there was no way I was running back up the Phinney hill, so we walked it instead.  When I got home, I looked at our splits:

After 2 weeks off, and still a little sick, I'd call this killing it.

There was absolutely no reason for us to run that fast.  I didn't expect to go under 9:00 for my first few runs back.  But when you're feeling good, chatting with a good friend, and enjoying being out there running, it's hard not to go fast.  And it's hard not to smile looking at those numbers.

So, I'm officially calling it:  I'm back in the game.  Seattle Rock N Roll Marathon, sub-4 hour marathon, here I come.

On not running...

...and kind of being OK with it.

Long before running the Goofy Challenge, right around the time that I decided to sign up for TNT Summer Team and train for the Seattle RNR Marathon, I told myself that I was going to force a 2-week running hiatus on myself.  I chose 2 weeks because that is the amount of time between Goofy and the start of summer team (this coming Saturday).  It is also a chunk of time that is short enough that I won't lose a ton of stamina and speed, but long enough to hopefully make me miss running.

When it comes to running, I have one big fear aside from major injury: burnout.  I've heard many a runner talk about hitting the burnout point, and how hard it is to bounce back from.  Suddenly, running isn't quite so fun anymore.  It feels forced and stagnant.  The innate joys of running seem to have slipped away suddenly and a long break is required before they come back.

I fear burnout because I fear what would happen to me if one of the biggest joys of my life were suddenly swept out from under my feet.  This lovely little facebook meme-ish thing (not sure of the technical term of these pictures) pretty much sums up how I feel about running:

Just in case you were still a little unsure after all this time how I feel
about running.

So after Negative November, when running didn't feel very good for a while, I decided that I was in need of a break.  Yes, Determined December was a much happier time.  I felt great and was proud of all that I did that month.  But after logging 152 miles in December (the most mileage I've ever run in a month), I was already looking forward to a break.

So I'm allowing myself a guilt-free, run-free 2 weeks.  I'm not allowing myself to feel bad about it.    I'm enjoying the extra time on my hands.  It's easier to come home from work to thoughts of bundling up and heading out for a 30 minute Lucy walk than putting on less clothes to go out into the freezing temperatures.

The respite has been quite nice, albeit a little confusing for my body and brain.  Nine days into my non-running streak, my body doesn't know how to feel about food.  After stuffing myself for a few days following Goofy, now my tummy doesn't know what, or how much, it wants.  My muscles are starting to feel antsy, ready to move and stretch and work.  My brain has also been doing a little less thinking than usual.  Running is when I work out all the thoughts that bounce around in this busy brain and come to peace with them.  I feel like nothing has been internally resolved lately, so there's all these loose ends flapping around waiting to be tended to.

But me and my brain and my body will make it through this.  Despite the confusion, we are enjoying the break.  And we will all be better off in the end for it.

So, since this post is about not running, let's talk about Lucy instead.  Because I know it's been way too long since you've seen a picture of her.  And I know you miss her.  And in all my non-running free time, I've had time to take a few pictures.  This series is called:

The Essence of Lucyness

1)  Ball of Lucy

I fold up quite nicely.

2)  Tastes like Salt! (photo courtesy of dog-sitters/Uncle Nathan and Aunt Annalise)

It would be kind of awesome if I had Aunt and Uncle
around to hang out with more often....

3)  Innocence Personified

Those baby carrots look awfully tasty.

4)  Lightning Speed

So fast you can't even see me!

5)  Lazy Play

Toys are fun.  Laying down is too.  I can do both.

6)  Upsidedown Life

The world just looks more interesting this way.

7)  Until next time...

Rest up and get some sleep.  Let your tongue hang out.

Because we've got a whole new marathon training season waiting for us.

WDW Goofy Challenge: Slow and Steady Finishes the Race (Part 4)

Well, we left off yesterday at mile 20.

Oh mile 20.

Mile 20 has proven to be the beginning of the end for me in my previous marathons.  In my first marathon, the Rock N Roll Seattle 2010, my body and soul broke down at about mile 18.  By mile 20, it was everything I could do to even fathom crossing the finish line.  In Victoria in 2011, it was at mile 20 that I allowed myself to take my first walking steps.  After that, it was a constant mental battle to keep from walking the rest of the way.  In the RNR San Diego last year, I didn't hit my true wall until about 23, but I felt the first signs of fatigue, the first signs that my body was running out of steam, at 20.

So as Erica and I kept running, kept ticking away our miles, I couldn't help but dread the inevitable.  As we passed miles 18 and 19 and waved goodbye to my parents until the end, in my mind I was thinking it's coming, it's coming.  In no time it will be here and life will REALLY SUCK for about an hour.  And an hour may not seem like very long, but when you're banging your head against a marathon wall, that hour feels like a lifetime.  It feels like all the minutes of the rest of your life will be encompassed in that hour.  It feels like it will never, ever end...like you will be running this marathon for ever and ever until the world comes crashing down--or you do--whatever happens first.



And this feeling, this wall, this "bite me zone," or whatever you want to call it, this is what I was anticipating as Erica and I finally exited ESPN's Wide World of Sports complex and passed by the mile 20 marker.  But as I crossed the line of that marker, my body didn't break down.  My mind felt at ease.  There was no wall waiting on the other side.

I thought to myself, it may not happen now, but it's still coming.  Any minute now you're going to run smack into that wall.  Prepare yourself for it.

Between mile 20 and 21, we doubled back on the same highway that took us into ESPN and saw racers passing us as they entered the ESPN complex.  I kept myself busy in this mile looking for TNT teammates passing on the other side of the road, to no avail.  There was another bathroom stop (not because I was having tummy issues, but because I finally, thankfully, had to go).  I didn't have any trouble standing back up again after sitting in the not so pleasant end-of-the-race port-a-potty.  That wall will still come though, don't let it trick you.

At mile 22, we were heading towards Hollywood Studios.  By this time, I was wracking my brain for a mantra that would get me through the eventual wall.  Every race mantra up until this point had been different.  RNR Seattle: "You can do it."  Victoria: "Pain is temporary."  RNR San Diego: "It's not about me."  For this one, I had decided I'd stick with the mantra "mom and dad are waiting for you."  I knew this would get me to the finish line.

As we entered Hollywood Studios, I suddenly spotted our friendly fireman from the morning of the half:

Remember this guy?  Full turnout gear, air tank and all?

There he was, chugging along in the extreme heat and humidity, still running.  Every runner who passed him gave him words of encouragement.  As I ran by him, I sent my own words his way: "You got this, great job."    And as I anticipated that wall again, I thought to myself, if he can do THAT, I can do THIS.

Running through Hollywood studios was pretty awesome.  We only got a little taste of it, and as with Animal Kingdom, I'd love to go back and see it again when I'm not in the tail end of a marathon.  It was inside Hollywood Studios, as Erica and I passed by the 23rd mile marker, and I still had not found that wall that I started to allow myself to think that, for just a moment, maybe it wasn't coming.  Maybe it wasn't out there waiting for me.  I shook this thought and went back to running.  It is totally coming.

After leaving Hollywood Studios, we made our way towards the Disney Boardwalk.  Running along the Boardwalk was near the water and pretty, and the wood planks were softer than the pavement we'd been running on all day.  But to be honest, I don't remember much about it.  Because it was here, right about at mile 24 that Erica and I spotted Coach Nadine.  I cannot explain the gush of excitement and emotion I felt at seeing her standing there, waiting.  She told us she had gotten there less than 5 minutes before we passed by.

Nadine has been my coach for 3 of my 4 marathons seasons with Team in Training.  I felt like I connected with her the best out of any of my coaches my first season.  On summer team last year, I watched Nadine go through what must surely have been one of the toughest times of her life and still stand with us to support us.  When I think of all the money we're raising as a team, I think of what Nadine had to go through with her dad last summer (and the years before that) and hope that what we are doing will prevent that from happening to people in the future.  This season, Nadine was there with us for almost every Saturday and Tuesday run.  Tom, her dad's name, (along with my grandmother, Tim, Yanni, Darren, Heather, and Maya) was written on the back of my purple shirt.

So when I saw Nadine in the final miles of the biggest challenge I had yet to undertake, when emotions are running at their highest levels, I got goosebumps and couldn't stop smiling.  I know Erica felt it too.  And so did Nadine.  She was wiping away little tears as she tagged on to our pace and started running with us.

Nadine ran with us for about a mile.  And it was here, as I said to Nadine "I haven't hit a wall yet!" that I finally realized, it's not coming.  I'm running a race, and there is no wall.

Nadine left us around mile 25 and it was here that I think it sunk in for both Erica and I that we only had a little over a mile to go before this was all over...just about 10 more minutes.  Erica had been feeling better after taking the Tylenol at the med tent back before going into ESPN, so as we said goodbye to Nadine and entered Epcot, our pace started increasing drastically.

At this increased pace, the numbness that the miles had created in my legs went away a bit and I could feel a little more pain.  It was here that I though to myself, you are not PRing this race.  There is no need to push this.  Slow down, enjoy it, and just get there.  So I asked Erica if we could pull back a bit.

And we did.  We ran through all the countries in Epcot (I don't know which, this part is a little hazy for me).  I remember seeing Aladdin and Jasmine and maybe a few other characters.  Then, at some point, we rounded a corner and I recognized where we were.  We had run this little path in the half the day before.  The finish line was up ahead and just around the corner.

This was AWESOME knowing exactly where the finish line was.  In past marathons (please refer to my RNR San Diego recap), finding the finish line has been torturous.  But I had already run this finish line, so I knew exactly how far I had to go.  It was a huge relief.

We ran around the big Epcot ball, past the choir at mile 26, under a tunnel, and into the finish line chute.  I heard my parents first.  I heard them screaming my name and then searched the crowds to see them waving their signs, yelling as loud as they could.  That was the first big finish smile.  A few paces down from them, I heard our teammate Dorothy yelling.  We passed her before I really heard her, but I whipped my head around in time to see her and let out another smile.  And then it was just a couple hundred yards between us and the finish line.

So Erica and I sprinted.  All out sprinted to that finish line.  We flanked one poor guy ahead of us, passed him with all we had and crossed that finish line in the exact same second with hands up in the air, smiling.

Done and done.

We did it.  I did it.  The Goofy Challenge.  39.3 miles.  2 days.  

NO WALL.  

And to be honest, it wasn't the mileage or the back to back days or anything else I was thinking about.  The first thought I had as I crossed the finish line was I DIDN'T HIT A WALL. Holy crap.  How is that possible?

Erica and I made it through the finish line area, got our Mickey medal, headed over to the Goofy tent to get our Goofy medal, and slowly made our way back to the TNT check-in tent.  I ran into a TNT friend from 2 years ago at bag check.  My parents were there waiting for me with smiles and hugs and my new "I did it" Goofy Challenge shirt at the finish line tent.  And all the while I was thinking, why are my legs still functioning semi-normally?  Why doesn't it hurt more?  Where was that amazingly tough mental battle I had expected to fight today?  Why can't I just shut up and enjoy the fact that I completed the Goofy Challenge!?!

Post-race...so confused but still smiling.

Is it weird to say that I feel like I cheated somehow?  That I feel like I didn't suffer enough?  That there was some sort of magical Disney bubble around me that kept out all the tough stuff?  This is not to say that I didn't struggle.  My legs hurt throughout the entire race.  My hip gave out on me.  I was tired.  But still...I feel like I didn't have to fight nearly as hard as I had in previous marathons.

In yesterday's post, I started of with a list of reasons why this race should have gone horribly wrong.  But now, at the end of the race, I suddenly found myself trying to think of a list of reasons why it didn't go horribly wrong.  Here are some theories:

1) Fueling.  In past marathons, I only took a GU every 45 minutes and carried just Nuun (a sport drink with no calories) in my water belt.  In this marathon I took a GU every 40 minutes, supplemented in between GUs with Sport Beans, and carried a sport drink with calories in my belt.  Additionally, I pick up Powerade (with calories) and water at almost every water stop.

2) I knew my parents were waiting for me.  Having my family there, knowing that they were there to cheer me on and watch me cross the finish line, meant that I had to finish.  It meant that I would finish, and I would finish it for them.

3) I had to be strong, and not just for me. Throughout the entire race, I knew Erica felt like crap.  So I wanted to be strong enough not only to carry myself through the race, but rally as much strength as I could to help her get through the race too.  I needed to be strong for myself and stronger for my running buddy.

4) I was already hurting, so it didn't matter.  One thing I've learned from training runs (especially tough Tuesday hill repeats or speed workouts) is that I usually perform better when I'm already sore.  My theory is: I'm going to hurt no matter what, so may as well just push as hard as I can.  I think this translated to the Goofy marathon.  My legs were tired and began hurting by the second mile.  So at mile 18 or 20 when my legs would typically start aching, they had already been aching the whole time...so it didn't fell like anything changed.  They just kept on hurting.  No big deal.

5) I didn't feel the heat. Was it hot?  Of course.  Was it humid?  Oh yeah.  But during the race, I didn't feel at any point like I was overheating or drowning in humidity.  Erica was throwing water on her head every chance she got and I talked to other teammates who felt that it was unbearably hot during the race.  For whatever unknowable reason, I didn't really feel it.

6) Coughing up phlegm didn't really hinder me.  My cough persisted throughout the race, but I just coughed it all up and kept going.  My throat didn't hurt and my lungs seemed to be functioning normally, so I just kept on going.

7) After hip-numbing with BioFreeze, I couldn't feel it anymore.  Literally.  Couldn't feel my hip.  Not sure how far I would have made it with a seized-up hip without that stuff.
8) We ran slow.  I think this was probably the biggest contributor.  At no point did I feel like I pushed myself beyond the point of discomfort.  Total for the marathon we averaged a little over a 10:00 min/mile pace.  Our average moving pace (minus all the stops) was 9:43.  Slow and steady finishes the race.  Slow and steady finishes the race in a strong way.

Post-Race

After the race, we hung around the finish line for a bit after sending my parents off to enjoy Epcot for the rest of the day.  Then we headed back to the hotel to clean up.  Erica took a nap for the rest of the afternoon.  I joined MacKenzie, Annemarie, and a few other teammates to watch the 2nd half of a very disappointing Seahawks game.

We had our TNT victory party, which was a little disappointing as the hotel kicked us out of the ballroom at 7.  There would be no epic dancing evening like in San Diego.  But Mickey and Minnie did come to visit.

I was actually more excited to see them than I thought I would be.

MacKenzie and I decided to move part of the party to our hotel room.  We drank some champagne, chatted about the race, and watched some of the Golden Globes here and there.  Mom and Dad returned from their Moroccan belly dancing dinner in Epcot and sat with us all in the hotel for a while as well.  I guess it was just what we all needed to finish the day.

And we all slept.  Because we needed it.  And deserved it.

The Aftermath

Our flight took off from Orlando at 3:30 Monday afternoon.  I had brunch with mom and dad and then said goodbye to them as they left an hour earlier for their flight.  We arrived back in Seattle at 8:30 PM.  I went home and crashed into bed so I could wake up and go brag about my weekend to my first graders the next day.

A few things have surprised me in the days after the race.  I wasn't that sore.  I was WAY more sore for my 3 previous marathons and even some of my halves where I pushed myself to my limits.  I felt like my legs were fully back to normal (at least walking-wise) by late Wednesday/early Thursday.  I was also not overly tired this week.  In the weeks leading up to the race I was always tired, no matter how much sleep I got (probably a result of the high mileage training I was in).

Also, I had decided about a month before the race that the 2 weeks after the Goofy Challenge, I would force myself into a self-imposed 2 week hiatus from running.  I'd been running a lot, and I'm about to jump right back into another marathon training season.  I'm worried about a burn-out and I think a forced 2 weeks off will help to get me excited to run again.  

Up until tonight, as I'm writing this, I have been thoroughly enjoying this hiatus.  I had no desire to get out and run this week.  It's been freezing in Seattle and a gloomy, thick fog has been hanging in the air for 2 days straight.  But now it's Friday.  And Saturday mornings are long run mornings...but not tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the only Saturday I have to sleep in before the new season starts next week, and instead of being excited about sleeping in, I'm suddenly thinking that it's going to be really hard not to run tomorrow.

But I won't run tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that.  I'm going to rest and revive and rejuvenate my running legs.  I'm going to re-energize and get excited for a new, ever-eventful Team in Training season.

And throughout it all, I'm going to keep asking myself those lingering questions that the marathon always leaves me with: Why did this race turn out this way?  Why did my body react in such a way during this race? Why do I keep feeling the need to go back and do it again?

Why?

I guess I'll just have to find out in the next one.

This one's going to be pretty hard to beat though.

WDW Goofy Challenge: Slow and Steady Finishes the Race (Part 3)

There are so many reasons why this marathon should have gone horribly wrong:

1)  I ran a half marathon the day before, and therefore was already functioning on tired legs.
2)  It was HOT and HUMID, and would only get progressively worse as the race stretched on.  In fact, in all 20 years this race has existed, we set the record high temperature for marathon weekend.
3)  I was scared, which left me wondering what my mental state would be during the race.
4)  My body had no idea what time is was anymore.  After a red-eye flight to a time zone that was 3 hours ahead of my own and then waking up at 2 AM two days in a row, plus a few quick naps, my internal time clock was completely out of whack.
5)  I had had a little over 8 hours of sleep over the past 2 nights combined.  This is not a lot when you have to round out your weekend at 39.3 miles.
6)  My running buddy Erica woke up marathon morning with a fever and therefore was certainly not feeling at the top of her game--though she did still decide to power through the race.
7)  I had eaten nothing close to what resembled my normal diet in the previous 3 days.  Which may have been a contributing factor in (warning: TMI) my seeming inability to perform necessary pre-marathon bathroom functions before the race.  It just didn't happen.
8)  The minor hip problem I'd developed on my end of December treadmill runs sprung it's ugly head during the half.  Which meant that more than likely it would return full force for the full too.
9)  The no-so-fun cough I'd had for about 2 weeks was persisting.  (Again, TMI warning).  I didn't feel sick and my throat didn't hurt, but every few minutes to a half hour I'd encounter a coughing fit where some pretty disgusting green stuff emerged from somewhere deep in my lungs.

I'm sure there were more reasons why this day should not have worked.  But I think those listed above suffice to prove a point.  The entity of being that is the marathon will never cease to surprise you.  The marathon has a mind of it's own.  It lays out a plan for you that you could never predict until the day of the race.  It keeps you guessing, keeps you working, and keeps you alive.  And then when you cross the finish line, you can't help but simply wonder, "Why?"  Whether good or bad, the question that always remains is, "Why?"

The Marathon

For those interested in a visual aid as I describe the progression of this marathon through Disney World, here's a course map:

Click this link for the full PDF zoom-in/zoom-out version.

Sunday morning, as our 2 AM alarms went off again, we Goofy racers experienced a surreal form of deja vu. However, this wasn't actually deja vu, because all of it really had happened just a mere 24 hours ago.  I woke up, got dressed, ate my yogurt and granola, packed my gear check bag, and met the team in the lobby at 3 AM.

Minor differences in this picture from yesterday: t-shirt
instead of tank, super attractive water belt in place, hat
instead of Minnie Mouse sweaty band, and black instead
of dark grey capris.

We loaded the same shuttles as the day before.  Got dropped off for the same 5 minute walk to gear check.  Parked ourselves in the same area near the same Toy Story toy soldier enthusiastically directing traffic.

More sitting and less dancing.  Except Nadine, who "claimed" there wouldn't
be nearly as much race course dancing on this day.

The transition from this parking spot, through gear check, and the 20 minute walk to the race start went a little smoother on marathon morning.  Instead of pushing everyone through to wait on the other side, they tried to call one or two corrals at a time to head towards the start.  There was no penned in wait between the bag check and port a potties.

After the walk, once we made it to our corral, this is where things seemed to feel suddenly, drastically different.  This is the first start line I've ever been to where all 30,000 people were staring down the neck of 26.2 miles.  In all other races (where halves and fulls run on the same day) only a quarter to a third of the start line racers are doing a full.  You can pick them out in the crowd.  They're the quieter ones, the more subdued, more focused ones.  The day before for the half, people were standing, excited, enthusiastic, and energetic.  But today, everyone in the corrals was sitting.  Quiet.  Subdued.  Focused.

I should have taken a picture of the sea of sitting marathoners.  But my mind was elsewhere.

And oddly, even the Disney event planners made the start more subdued.  Instead of blasting fun music, they had people up on stage interviewing race organizers, event planners, celebrity runners (Joey Fatone did the Goofy Challenge), etc.  It was like listening to boring talk radio.  No music was played until just a couple minutes before the start.  Poor planning Disney, we need to be pumped up.  Not put back to sleep.

Eventually we were all directed to stand up so that everyone could fit into corrals.  And then they started the race.  For the marathon, Mickey did the count downs.  Corral A left with their fireworks to start us off.  Then Corral B.  More fireworks.  And then it was us.  MacKenzie, Erica, and I took off from the start line quietly, expecting a not very fun few hours ahead of us.

As we left the start line and ran our way through the first 3 miles back to Magic Kingdom, I still wasn't excited.  I could already feel my tired legs.  I began to dread that wall that I knew I would hit.  Probably earlier in this marathon than others in the past.  And while it was exciting to be running through Magic Kingdom again, I had done it already yesterday.  It was old hat.

Also, as I mentioned earlier, Erica had woken up with a fever and horrible headache, popped some ibuprofen and pushed herself to the start line.  Now she had a marathon to run too.  We made a quick bathroom stop just as we entered Magic Kingdom at mile 4 (they had opened the public bathrooms, so there were real flushing toilets!) and bumped into MacKenzie again on the way out as she waited in the bathroom line.  We had lost her somewhere in those few miles.  

We also leap frogged with 2 teammates, Regan and Stephanie, between miles 4 and 5.  Passing them, then stopping for the bathroom, passing them, then stopping to take pictures in front of Cinderella Castle, then passing them again.  It was great to see them so many times.  We also saw Coach Nadine, who was stationed around mile 4.  She ran with us for a bit, then said goodbye and hopefully she'd see us again around mile 24, but she wasn't sure she'd make it there in time for us.

Miles 6, 7, and 8 were the same stretch of highway as the day before, until we got to the Richard Petty Driving Experience Speedway.  This is where my mood started to pick up a bit.  As we ran through the race track, people had driven their old relic cars and lined them up all along the outer edges of the track.  They stood next to their awesome looking cars and cheered us as we ran by.  Towards the end, we even spotted this guy:

Lightning McQueen!  He had his friend Mater with him too.

After leaving the Speedway, we faced our longest stretch of highway between miles 9 and 12 as we headed towards Animal Kingdom.  One thing I have to commend Disney for in this race: there was never a moment where I felt bored.  They had entertainment crawling all over every inch of this course; from characters to comedians to DJ's to volunteers whose only job was to simply cheer us enthusiastically on.  And there was certainly no lack of enthusiasm on this course.

As Erica and I continued toward the halfway point, I tried to keep us on track with eating a GU every 40 minutes.  I also supplemented with Sport Beans in between my GUs.  We stopped at almost every water stop as the day grew hotter and stickier.  By mile 13, I was grabbing both a cup of Powerade and a cup of water at every water stop (basically every mile).  We tried to keep our pace above 9:30 and walk all the water stops.  Aside from constant pain throughout both my legs and an aching left knee between miles 2 and 7 (I think I was overcompensating for the hip), I felt great.  My breathing was smooth and easy and my energy seemed endless.

Erica, on the other hand, wasn't doing quite so well.  She was struggling to breathe and talk.  But we continued to run, sometimes in silence, sometimes with me talking at her.  We ran into Coach Siri as we entered the Animal Kingdom and got another little boost from seeing someone we knew.

I don't remember a lot about going through the Animal Kingdom other than seeing the Tree of Life, Mount Everest, and a few fun characters.  We weren't stopping for character pictures in the marathon, but I couldn't help but stop and take a picture of the Tree of Life.

This thing was huge and gorgeous.  I'd love to go back
to see it again when I'm not halfway through a marathon.

After we left Animal Kingdom, the next stop was the ESPN Sports Complex for miles 17-20.  On the way there we saw Coach Kelly, and Erica seemed to be feeling miserable at this point.  We ran with Kelly for a bit and then a mile or 2 later stopped at a med tent so Erica could take some Tylenol (the medics at the med tents were handing this stuff out like candy).  I also decided to take 2 more Aleve--I had taken 2 before the race to stave off hip pain, but it had worn off.

Then we entered the Sports Complex.  This was by far my least favorite part of the course.  Just look at the winding mess they sent us through: 

Turn here, then turn here, then around the track, then around the
corner, then turn again...blah blah blah.  All the while it feels like
you're running around the fields of a very wealthy high school.

Despite my dislike for this part of the course, these 3 miles were probably the most eventful of the entire race for Erica and I.  Here's a summary:

• About a half mile in, Erica started coughing, couldn't catch her breath, and then started hyperventilating.  We pulled over to the side, and while I watched her trying to catch her breath, I ran through all my old First Aid/CPR training of what to do in this situation.  I don't think there was ever a scenario that started with "When you're in the middle of a marathon and you're running partner starts hyperventilating because she's running a marathon with a fever..."  Luckily, she recovered and on we ran.
• Not too long after that, my hip, which had been hurting for about 10 or so miles, suddenly seized up to the point that I was limp-running and limp-walking through water stops.  Once again Erica and I pulled to the side.  I tried to stretch it, but couldn't get to whatever was seized, so Erica offered to dig her elbow into my hip (a trick learned from Coach Shelby whose solution to all injuries is to dig it out).  Only in a marathon would people run by two girls standing on the side of the road, one digging her elbow as hard as possible into the hip joint of the other and not think once about it.
• Erica's impromptu elbow digging worked for about a mile, but then my hip seized up again.  Finally, we stopped at a med tent, where I proceed to stand in full view of other runners, stick my hand down my pants, and rub BioFreeze (similar to Icy Hot) all over my hip.  Again, no one looked twice.  The BioFreeze succeeded in numbing my hip for the rest of the race.
• I knew my parents were going to be waiting for us somewhere around mile 20.  They surprised us when we saw them in a crowd around mile 18.5.  We stopped, hugged, took a couple pictures, and smiled huge smiles.  I had expected to be exhausted, in a fog, and in a wall by the time I saw my parents.  But I wasn't.  And seeing them made me think I could actually make it to the end.  It was just the boost I needed to get over all the pain I was feeling in my legs and feet.  They'd be waiting for me at the finish line too.  I simply had to get there.
• Somewhere in mile 20 as we ran through the baseball stadium was Disney's "Mile 20 Spectacular" for the 20th anniversary of the race.  I was not impressed.  
• Finally, we hit the actual mile 20, left the Sports Complex, and went merrily on our way.

6 more miles to go.  In past marathons I had hit my wall as early as mile 18 and as late as mile 23.  I knew I was in the range.  I knew it had to be coming.  It was simply a matter of time.

WDW Goofy Challenge: Slow and Steady Finishes the Race (Part 2)

TNT WA/AK Chapter at Inspiration Dinner, ready to take on Disney

A Short Poem

(Inspired by Disney magic)

Twas the night before Goofy and all through Disney World

Team in Training runners were stirring, awake in their beds

Clothing was dressed on chairs with care

In hopes that race day would not too soon be there.

The racers were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of finish lines danced in their heads

And me in my hotel room, with the covers pulled tight

Was trying to get at least a little sleep that night.

The Half Marathon

By the time I had my purple shirt decorated and had all of my race gear arranged for the morning, it was about 9:30 when I fell asleep on Friday night.  This allowed me just about 4.5 hours of sleep before the half marathon.

Yes, if you do the math on that one, this means that my alarm went off at 2:00 AM.  Never in my life would I have ever imagined that I'd be setting an alarm for this time in the middle of the night to get up and go running.  Really far.  And then, just to rub it in a little deeper, as I was putting on my Nike+ GPS watch about 30 minutes later, I glanced down at the time (which was still set for PST) and it read 11:36 PM.

That's right...as I was crawling out of bed, putting on running clothes, and eating my yogurt and granola, the west coast was just falling asleep.  I received a good luck message from Ironman Jason, which I'm guessing he sent just before falling asleep.

Nonetheless, I was up, I was awake, and I was ready.  At least, as ready as I was going to be.  MacKenzie and I were rooming together and we walked down to the hotel lobby to meet our teammates at 3:00.  The hotel lobby was filled with TNT runners who were all staying in the hotel.

All dressed up and ready to go. Totally loving my new
Team Sparkle shirt.

Erica and I had talked the day before and decided to leave our water belts behind for the half.  This was kind of a big deal, because aside from my first half marathon, I haven't run a half without it.  But Erica and I had a plan for this race, and with what we were thinking we both figured we didn't really need our belts.

The plan was simple:  Go slow.  Aim for a 2:30 half.  Take lots of pictures.  Have fun.

And I may be spoiling the ending for you here, but that is exactly what we did.

Before we could start enacting our plan, however, we had to get to the start line.  This proved to be more of a process than anyone had anticipated.  First, we had to wait in line for a shuttle bus (ahem...motorcoach) to take us from the Coronado Springs Resort to Epcot.

3:00 AM, yet comfortably warm enough to be standing
outside in tanks and t-shirts.

In fact, it was colder on the bus.  That's when Erica and I
pulled out out mylar blankets saved from previous races.

Once we got to Epcot, we had about a 5 minute walk to get from the bus drop off point to the finish line/bag check area.  Our local WA/AK crew parked ourselves in a spot near the bag check to wait things out until it was closer to start time.

We happened to sit down right next to a toy soldier character from Toy Story, who was loudly directing/entertaining the crowds.  We also noticed a guy nearby who was getting dressed in full fireman turnout gear (including the huge air tank on his back).  After speaking with him, we found out that he intended to run the Goofy Challenge in full gear.  With the heat that was expected on both days, I found this absolutely unbelievable.  And incredible.

And of all the ladies couldn't resist the fireman photo op.

After hanging around for a while, our fearless, enthusiastic coaches directed us towards the start line and told us that they'd see us out there on the course.

Fearless, enthusiastic, dancing coaches.  Even at 4 AM.

After we were funneled through the bag check lines, things seemed to come to a standstill on the other side.  A few thousand runners seemed to be penned in by the bag check tent on one side and lines of port-a-potties on the other.  As MacKenzie, Erica, Annemarie, and I kept getting penned deeper in, word spread through the crowd that they hadn't opened the gates to head to the start line.  It felt like we were sheep being led off to slaughter.  Interminably waiting.

See the one tiny exit area in between the endless banks of port-a-potties.
Eventually they funneled 30,000 people through there.

When they finally opened whatever gates were holding us back, it was a slow and also seemingly endless walk to actually get to our start line corrals.  The race directions had told us to expect a 20 minute walk to the start line.  About a mile.  We were already running 13, why not tack another one on there?

Slowly but steadily, MacKenzie, Erica, Annemarie and I made it into our corral.  And then there was more waiting.  There were 8 corrals total (each corral starts one after the other so that there isn't a mass start where 30,000 people start running all at once), and we somehow ended up in the 3rd, even though we had been aiming for the second.  The start line was pretty energetic with lots of people crowded together, music blaring, big screen TVs showing what was happening up at the front of the corrals.

Disney put together a pretty good start line celebration for the half marathon.  As each corral was started, Donald Duck, flanked by Goofy and Mickey on either side, counted down to release the crowds.  They set off fireworks for each corral start.

Donald, Mickey and a hidden Goofy waving from the start
line state in their track suits.

What was even cooler though was as we passed by the stage, MacKenzie spotted Drew Carey who happened to be standing below the stage.  She screamed "Go Sounders!!" at him and then we all crowded to the barricades as he came over to say hi to the Sounders fans.  And, not to name drop or anything, but this was after I spotted Freddy Montero on Wednesday night a couple people ahead of Erica and I in the airport security line.

Yeah, I shook is hand.  NBD.

MacKenzie, Erica, Annemarie and I all started together.  Annemarie took off pretty quickly ahead of us.  MacKenzie stayed with us for the first 2 or 3 miles until we stopped to take the first picture.  And from that first picture is where all the fun began.  This half marathon was the most fun I've ever had in a half.  I wasn't stressed about running fast or PRs or bathroom stops.  I wasn't stressed about finishing strong or giving it my all.  My only goals were to run slow and have fun.

And through this photo montage, I will show you just how much fun Erica and I had in our Disney World Half Marathon:

Pirates of the Caribbean.  This first stop was where we lost MacKenzie.

A girl saw us trying to take pictures, and said "I'll take yours
if you take mine."

Entering Magic Kingdom ~3 miles in (after a bathroom
stop)

Cinderella's Castle lit up in the back.  SO COOL to run
through Magic Kingdom in the dark.

First characters we deemed important enough to stop for.
Alice and the Queen of Hearts!

And then things got exciting...

OMG THE LITTLE MERMAID!! Favorite Disney Character!  And she thought
I was dressed up as Ariel.  Several other characters (including Cinderella)
thought this throughout race.  It was totally unintentional, but I'll take it!

Beauty and the Beast! I think the Beast was one of the few
characters that was actually taller than me.

We spotted royal Donald and Daisy as we entered Cinderella's Castle, but
didn't stop to wait in line.  The runner in the pic seems to be dressed as
Cruella DeVille though, which is an interesting juxtaposition.

We encountered Cinderella and Prince Charming while the sun was rising
as we left Magic Kingdom.

In the half, after you left Magic Kingdom, all you had was a long stretch of highway until you got back to Epcot for the finish.  Disney did a pretty good job of keeping us entertained along this long stretch, but it was a skinny road and very crowded.  Erica and I did a lot of weaving in and out of people to keep a comfortable pace.

Things I thought about in this stretch:

1)  It's really crowded.

2)  It's really flat in Florida.

3)  Those characters must be really hot in those costumes.

4)  They must have to wash those costumes very thoroughly after all the characters have hugged sweaty runners in both these races.  Or just throw them away.

5)  I'm running a half marathon right now.

6)  I HAVE TO RUN A FULL MARATHON TOMORROW.

But I didn't let any of this lower my spirits, because out on those roads, the pictures continued.

Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins!  If Ariel is my absolute favorite Disney
character, Mary Poppins is a close 2nd.  She even had a British accent.  And
the angry penguin is literally elbowing me in order to be in the picture.

This is not a Disney character.  This is Coach Kelly.  Which is just as exciting.

Somewhere after seeing Coach Kelly, we also saw Coach Siri but somehow managed to miss taking a picture with her.  This is sad.

Lilo and Stitch were somewhere along this stretch.  Not sure of the exact
order.  Still haven't seen this movie, but lots of people seem to love them.
They're very short.

Coach Nadine!!  Again, not a Disney character.  Again, just as exciting.
Especially because we got to see more dance moves.

Then a few more miles, a few more random pictures, and just like that we found ourselves back at Epcot.

Inadvertently picking up the pace as we neared the finish
line.

Then it was over.  The excitement, the fun, the merriment.  Erica and I hooked elbows and proceeded to skip across the finish line.  Wizard of Oz style.  Even though that's technically not Disney.  And remember that slow goal time we had?

I think that's as pretty close as it gets to nailing it on the head.  Net Time of 2:29:12.  Almost 40 minutes slower than
my PR, and I couldn't care less.

And waiting at the finish line were Mom and Dad.  They saw us just before we crossed.  This is the first time they were ever there to cheer for me.  The first time I ever picked them out of the crowds in the finish line chute.  The best way to cap off a great race.

And they got both Erica and I Mickey roses, which they handed to us after the finish.

Poor wilted Mickey rose a couple of days later in the
hotel room.

After the race, we got our Donald medals, checked in at the TNT tent, and then headed back to the hotel.  I iced bathed and then proceeded to lounge/nap by the pool for a couple hours.  Because it was 80 degrees out.  And sunny.  I ate lunch with Erica and my parents and then went back to the hotel for another nap.

I woke up around 3:00, and met my parents to head to Downtown Disney to wander through stores for a bit.  We put our name on a list at a pasta restaurant called Portabello, anticipating the 1.5 hour wait they told us it would be.

Mom and dad got drinks at a margarita bar while we were waiting.  I did not.
This is highly unusual because I am usually the one with the drink and they
are not.

A couple of teammates met us at the restaurant to carb load for the next day.  Again, none of us got drinks, but mom and dad did.  Again, highly unusual.  But it was an unusual kind of weekend.

We of course had one more photo to take.

Pleasure Island, how could we not stop for a picture?

And then it was back to the hotel.  Back to bed.  Back to tossing and turning all over again.  Back to this:

A Short Poem

(Inspired by Disney magic)

Twas the night before Goofy and all through Disney World

Team in Training runners were stirring, awake in their beds

Clothing was dressed on chairs with care

In hopes that race day would not too soon be there.

The racers were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of finish lines danced in their heads

And me in my hotel room, with the covers pulled tight

Was trying to get at least a little sleep that night.

Because tomorrow I had to do it all over again.  And run twice as far.