Connections and crossed paths

Remember Donnie Darko?  Aside from the creepy rabbit, I loved this movie.  Especially the ending.  When the world slows down and suddenly Donnie can see all the paths we leave behind.  He can see the strings of our movement through the world, and how they are all infinitely connected.

Can you imagine being in the middle of a dark movie theater and having
this guy suddenly appear?  I would run screaming and crying like a child.

As a poetically philosophical, slightly depressed college student, I loved to think about those paths.  I'd walk the streets of New York City, imagining all of the crossing paths of the people that passed me by.  It comforted me to think of all of the infinitesimal ways that we are connected, even when we don't know each other and fail to notice or acknowledge one another on the street.

I still like the idea that everything is connected.  What we do in this world, the path we take and the choices we make are a result of these connections and become the catalyst for others.  Nothing, and no one, exists in isolation.

So what got me thinking about all of these connections this week?

One guess.

Running!

Surprised?

Last Thursday, after a painful 2 mile run with the Lucy dog, I finally sucked it up and made a physical therapy appointment.  I should have done it sooner, but I'd been secretly terrified that I was going to be told I had a stress fracture (like I did 3 years ago) and would be out of commission for a while.  I didn't want to be out of commission.  But another painful Saturday run only confirmed my decision was a good one, and I strolled into the office just before my 2:30 appointment.

My hour long appointment started immediately with stress fracture talk.  The PT seemed to be slightly concerned that the pain was in the same knee.  She pulled out an ultrasound, which apparently is a quick and easy way to diagnose the existence of a stress fracture.  The vibration causes a deep, sharp pain in the area of the fracture, if there is one.  I held my breath as she turned the machine on and touch it to my knee.

No pain!  Phew.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

Then we proceeded through an hour of connections to determine where this pain was coming from.  Because if there's one thing I've learned about the human body from running, it's that the source of the problem is typically not where the pain is showing its ugly head.

The PT started at the left outer knee (where the pain is), and worked her way up, deep massaging tendons, feeling for connections.  Before too long, she was measuring distances between my hips, knees, and ankles.  The first thing she noticed was that my pelvis was slightly tilted on one side.  A quick seemingly-chiropractic push readjusted it.

Then she started interviewing me.  "Did you fall down?"  No.  "Are you sure?"  Yes.  "This sort of thing usually happens from a hard fall or sharp impact."  Interesting.  Can't think of anything.  "Have you been in a car accident?"  In my in-the-moment, thinking-only-of-the-recent-past brain, my response was: No.

The PT kept following the connections and wound up finding an extremely tight knot of tendons in my upper right glute.  This didn't surprise me.  That spot always hurt.  For the past couple marathon seasons, after any long run or hard work out, that knot seized up for about a day or 2 after the workout.  I'd sit in the car on my long commute down to Federal Way or on the couch while watching Hulu with my knuckles dug into the spot, trying to release the pain.

But I didn't think anything of it.  This was just post-run tightness.  It always happened.  But as she massaged the tightness out of the space, I realized that I don't think I've felt that spot be completely pain free in my recent memory.  I was just used to it.

And as she kept probing me--"Are you sure you didn't fall down, or step off a stair wrong and impact the floor strongly or something?"  Apparently my tendons were "protecting" themselves from some sort of traumatic event.

Then I remembered this:

April 2010.  I totaled my little Civic on the way to work.

But that was well over 3 years ago.  Which is why I hadn't thought of it.  But Ms. PT's face brightened up when I mentioned it.  That was the most likely culprit.  She said on average it takes about 2 years for injuries like this to show up.

So let's connect these lines:

1)  In April of 2010, 2 months shy of my first marathon, I totaled my car on a dark rainy morning in the middle of Federal Way.  No one, including me, was injured.

2)  Between 2010 and late 2013, I go on to run 5 marathons and 10 half marathons.  Sometimes I get pains in my right upper butt/hip area.

3)  Late October 2013, my left outer knee starts hurting.

4)  Mid November 2013, a PT suspects that my knee pain stems from the pain in my ass, which is probably a lingering injury from a car accident I had 3 and half years ago when my pelvis was unknowingly tilted slightly askew.

Connections.  Some long, stringy pathways that have been winding and twisting their way along for years. 

The final verdict?  After some deep tissue massage and learning some recommended daily pelvis strengthening exercises (that's right, I need to strengthen my pelvis), I was told to wait 24 hours to try running again then come back in a week.

And after that, I started contemplating connections.  And how while some connections are not so good, others can be great.  Like this one:

1)  Early October, Lucy gets her first "senior citizen" check up at the vet.  The vet recommends some glucosamine to give her joints a kick start.  Just a suggestion since she's lost interest in running.

2)  Late October, my knee starts hurting and I stop running.

3)  Early November, Lucy seems a little more energetic.  And I decide to start slowly reintroducing running into our routine.

4)  Neither of us can or should run much more than 2 or 3 miles until we find our stride again.  Which is perfect: we can grow our endurance back together.

5)  Mid-November, we are both out there running together again for the first time in over a year.

Drying off after today's soggy run.

Circumstances crossed, paths made connections in unforeseeable ways, and now Lucy and I are re-attempting running together again.

Today we ran, and while my knee still hurt after about a mile or so, I was a happier runner than I'd been in a while.  Because I had my running buddy back out there on the roads with me, even if she was still slightly unenthusiastic about it.

Turns out, I missed her.

And if getting my running buddy back is the biggest thing that comes out of the knee/pelvis/pain in my butt issue, I'll take it.

It's a connection I'm more than willing to acknowledge and embrace.